Unhealthy Toxic Relationship

A relationship is a beautiful thing. The way two or more people connected in an emotional and or sexual association sounds so magical. However, some relationships are more difficult or even harmful to our well-being.

Good relationships take some time and effort. Like what they said, it takes two to tango. But it's more than that. In relationships, there's a take and give, from both parties. We have to learn to adapt and accommodate the differences. Just as they have to do the same with us.

Unfortunately, not everyone is like that. Some people are too selfish and don't care about their significant other's well-being. The relationship has changed from a beautiful feeling, into a horrible one. This relationship is not always hopeless, but they require extreme effort to revert it into a glorious relationship.

What Is Toxic Relationship

You will not find positive emotional energy in this relationship. A healthy relationship is where you can be yourself, feel comfortable, and secure. A toxic relationship is not safe. It's characterized by insecurity, self-centeredness, dominance, control. We don't want to risk our very being by staying in such a relationship.

Keep in mind that our own words and actions matter as well. We can't say our partner is toxic but in reality, you do the same. You two have to look and be honest with yourself. Why you stay in a relationship if it will inevitably damage yourself or your partner? What can you do to fix it?

"A bad relationship is like standing on broken glass, if you stay you will keep hurting? If you walk away, you will hurt but eventually, you will heal." - Autumn Kohler

Types of Toxic Relationships

Toxic individuals behave the way they do for one reason. They want to be in complete control and have all the power in the relationship. It is common for a toxic individual to use varieties of controlling behaviors. Below are a few types of toxic relationships: 

• Bad Temper Toxic
  Can also be called controlling by intimidation. This is a type of emotional abuse. The toxic partner will often blame their temper outburst on you. It makes you want to give up trying to argue or even disagree because of their way of showing their temper.
  
  
• Convince Guilt
  This type of relationship controls by controlling guilt. They induce and remove the guilt if you do what they want you to do. The toxic partner controls by prompting you to feel guilt any time you do something they don't like.
  
  It is common for them to hurt you using someone else's name. For example, your partner tells you how disappointed their parents are because you didn't come for dinner.
  
  
  
  
  
  
• The User
  This type of toxic often seems very nice and pleasant individual. But, the reason is that they're getting everything they want from you. They also occasionally do small things for you.
  
  However, it's an obligation coated in a gift. If you don't do things their way, they will hold what they've done over you. They may also leave you if they find someone who will do more for them.
  
  
• Overdependent and Non-Dependable
  One of the toxic methods is to let you make most decisions for them. It is their way to put the responsibility of the outcome on your shoulder. The other type rarely commits to what they said and usually has a convincing excuse.
  
  
• The Belittler
  This type of toxic will continually belittle you. They will imply that anything you say that expresses your ideas, beliefs, or wants is stupid. Occasionally disguising it by saying, it's just a joke.
  
  The problem is what they’re doing is not a joke. If you tolerate this behavior long enough, you might begin to believe that you can’t make good decisions.
  
  
• Possessive Toxic
  
  Early in your relationship with them, you may appreciate their “jealousy”, if it isn’t too controlling. You thought that possessives will imply that once the two of you are married or in a committed relationship, it will be fine.
  
  However, these toxic individuals will become more and more suspicious and controlling. Over time they will work hard to eliminate any essential relationships you have with friends, and even with family. If you stay in a relationship with such an individual you will cease to have a life of your own.
  

"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, and don't put up with people that are reckless with yours." - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Final Thoughts

Please remember, any relationship involving physical violence or substance abuse is a definition of extremely toxic and requires immediate intervention if not separation of the two, with only very few exceptions

Believe that you deserve to be treated with courtesy, kindness, and respect in a relationship or you will not continue the relationship. If you want to improve your relationship with a toxic partner, you have to be willing to leave that relationship if nothing changes.